Friday, August 24, 2007

Here's Some REAL Insults:

Here's a snippet from the latest hate mail I've received from our good buddy "Aztec Al-Qaeda":

"YA'LL less than subhumanoid bottom pit wallowing in excrement outhouse loving double dildo maggot dykes (Maggots are white too Elly Mae!) are my least worries! Damn Butch! You already sound like one of those German SS camp guards of yore! Ooooooo...!"

Ooooo? Did you think that was witty? Or did someone tell you it was? I guess I'm supposed to be hurt, but something's missing (quick...someone cover his left ear, I'll blow in his right ear so he can have a refill). Here's another one:

"In the meantime bitch, why don't YOU go impale yourself atop your nearest City Hall flagpole and pretend your sharing a double Dildo Laura Bush! (Sorry, Vaseline NOT provided!) Ooooooo....! Ouch! Did that hoit Butch?!"

*Shaking my head and giggling at the stupidity* That did not "hoit." In fact, I find it mildly amusing, but if you injected a little more intelligence into it, maybe, just maybe, I'd feel a twinge. Just a little one. I'm guessing a mouth-breather like you needs a schooling in insults, so I'll give you one.

Are you always this retarded, or are you making a special effort right now? I mean, you say you don't know the meaning of the word "fear," but then again, you don't know the meaning of most words. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental; and anyone who told you to "just be yourself" couldn't have given you worse advice.

I've gotta ask...were your parents also siblings? Did they ever ask you to run away from home? Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth? Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? It's okay, buddy...if ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

By all means, keep talking. I'm sure someday you'll say something remotely intelligent. And I'm sure someday you'll find yourself, but you'll immediately wish you hadn't. I have to say, though, it really is hard to see the big picture when you have such a tiny screen. Now that I've spoken at length with you, I've decided I'm in favor of abortion in cases of incest.

All of your ancestors must number in the millions--although it's so hard to believe that so many people are to blame for producing you. You're as useless as rooster shit on a pump handle, and you're as welcome here as a rattlesnake at a square dance. But I promise, if you invest in a good wig and learn to control that drooling, nobody will ever know you had a lobotomy.

I'd love to see your point of view. I really would. But I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

(Next time, please don't enter a battle of wits unarmed. Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people everywhere.)

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